Why do I speak? I speak out of belief, out of faith, out of hope that what I say has meaning. I'm trying to die, not an end to my earthly existence, but to my meaningless desires. It's a long, hard death, but it is full of life.
Upon dying I shall return rejoicing, alive and well. Many would not have understood and I don't foresee a future recognition. For the few or some that do see, what wonder. We will drink sweet wine, rejoicing, everything shared.
I am dying because the rulers of the world refuse others' life, taking futures away from families and lands. Yet, it has always been the ones who no longer hold onto their own lives that overcome the violently powerful. Among the people of the Kingdom of God, there is to be no violence or hope for power (though some have lied their way in, perverting the minds of some masses). Power in the hands of mortals tries to drive away the Spirit of mercy. But mercy will endure. The strength of sacrifice endures beyond the false security of power and authority.
As such, I am hoping to die, to live more fully.
(And I recognize that this life of death is further away that I probably realize, for as much as I aspire to a life of sacrificial love, I find myself often grasping onto things of that false life I want to leave behind.)
(Feast of St. James the Apostle, 2 Corinthians 4:7-15, Psalm 126, Matthew 20:20-28)
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