Hebel - Abel

Hebel*,
I am a void to be found,
a death to be lived,
a love to be resided in.
Do I know myself?
Have I lived long enough
before slain by a brother,
proved a breath,
a bit of dust
blown in twirls by the wind?
I feel the quake--
when I am listening
--of judgment
meant to release
when lived through,
when swallowed
and presented to absurd trust.
Upon the ridge of despair
I prepare to recite
the Jubilate.**
Should we admit
the desire to see spectacles?
Yes, and so we will,
if only to shake them off,
to let go of our name,
our nation,
our pretension,
our visions of light
actually blindness.
I am meaningless
and so have meaning;
you will kill me
and I will have meaning.
For I am giving up,
and will leave to return new.

(1 John 3:11-21, Psalm 100, John 1:43-51)

*Hebrew. Means "meaningless," "vanity, "void," "breath," perhaps even in the sense of Albert Camus "absurd" (ex. Ecclesiastes 1:2f.). Though it is not from the same root, Abel, the first son of Adam and Eve slain by his brother Cain, has a name that sounds the same in Hebrew. Poetically, this serves for us to consider our own beings.
**Psalm 100