six::twentynine

Today my thoughts turn to the community of the saints, that arc that will weave throughout the tapestry of human history. It is the Solemnity of the Leaders of the Apostles, St. Peter and St. Paul. Two great, stubborn, yet humble minds speak to us even presently through the witness of the New Testament, even the Church. We can possibly see, then, why even today there is bickering among brothers and sisters in Christ; Peter and Paul did not always see eye to eye. Nonetheless, they both faithfully answered the call of the Lord, as painful as it may have been: Peter having to hear the threefold question from the risen Christ concerning his love; Paul with the thorn in his side. Yet this pain came after great heights. God revealed to Peter the divinity of Jesus so that he confessed it before the apostles, and he saw the Holy Transfiguration on the mountain. Paul was given vision upon vision to guide him, from the road to Damascus to his trip into Paradise where he heard things uttered that cannot be repeated.

We know this of our brothers, the apostles. What strikes me now is that, somehow, their experience is ours. We share in what they know, as mysterious as it is. And such is why we head their words: be humble, boast in our weakness, become disciplined. I wonder if their lives should appear so exotic to us, so disconnected from our current reality. The saints throughout the ages still speak. We can still hear them and know their stories. We can identify ourselves with them as we enter into the disciplines they practiced. We too are called saints, whether we are canonized or not. But this saintliness does not call upon us to boast or to be proud. We must become lowly. We must give up on those things we put our hope and trust in that are not Christ, that are not ordained by the Holy Spirit.

As I write these words, I cannot help but question: Who am I to be writing these things? Who the hell am I? I am an idiot and I am in fellowship with idiots. I say too many things that it is difficult to believe I have a right to say. I love people, and yet too often I am an asshole. Who am I to speak, to write, of being one with the saints, so un-saintly am I? Yet, I write for that is what I must do. It is with these words that I begin to see what is in me that ought not be. And perhaps it is with these words that others will see similarly, or hopefully, differently, for we all have been given different vision, yet we just might be looking for the same thing. I simply hope that I will learn to listen to the words of Peter and Paul, servants of Christ, pained and sorrowful and joyous servants.

[Note: The readings today are not from the USCCB. I took them from our Orthodox brothers and sisters. The site can be viewed here: http://www.bombaxo.com/greek.html]